The Grammy nominations are out. Failure ensues.

It's that time of year again and I don't mean Hanukkah. No, it's that time of year when the Grammys announce the nominees for the next award show and for our purposes they have another fantastic list in the hard rock and metal catgories. I'm kidding. It's still utterly insipid and lazy. Let's take a look after the jump.


Best Hard Rock Performance:

Alice in Chains - A Looking in View. Yeah this is a good track that is the essence of AIC's sound. But yet again the Grammys nominate a song from an album that they already covered last year. Are their no other hard rock bands in existence anymore?

Ozzy Osbourne - Let Me Hear You Scream: I understand nominating Ozzy for a Grammy but this song is such a mind numbing stupid track.

Soundgarden - Black Rain: I have not heard this song and I really don't care. What I do have a problem with is that this is blatantly a marketing ploy since these guys have yet to fully reunite other then to release this live cd. And Soundgarden has yet to prove itself relevant until they release a new album.

Stone Temple Pilots - Between the Lines: So far the list has not generated anybody that is new in the last 15 years or so. Way to stick with legacy bands, fuckers. Get some 30 something people on your panel please. Oh and this whole album was virtually ignored.

Then Crooked Vultures - New Fang: Oh my bad, here is a new band.....filled with legacy members.Somebody tell me if this is a worthy song.

Best Metal Performance:


Iron Maiden - El Dorado: Fine. If Judas Priest can win for a song they recorded 30 years ago then Maiden should get one. Though this song is not the best track on the album.

Korn - Let the Guilt go: Can Korn even be considered metal at this point? Whatever. They had their day and Grammys. Fuck them. Let someone else win.

Lamb of God - In Your Words: I still have not listened to this album. But a song was nominated from this last year. I thought there was a deadline for nominees. LoG hasn't even been on tour as far as I know in almost a year. There are other album out there, dicks.

Megadeth - Sudden Death: So the Grammy people break the pattern of nominating shit two years in a row by nominating a song from a fucking video game. What....did you forget about Endgame already?

Slayer - World Painted Blood: Oh now we're back on track. Is Slayer going to be nominated every goddamn year? This is like the third year in a row and the second track from the album of the same name. Again. There are other albums that could be nominated.

So to recap, every band is a legacy band with the exception of Lamb of God. Sort of. No one on that committee bothered to review any other cds since last year and one of them saw his kid playing a song on Guitar Hero. And no full albums are up as a category, just songs. But they listened to the shit out of Lady Gaga and Eminem didn't they? So to the Grammy nomination commitee I present you with this.