Friday, March 11, 2011

Metal Hammer's 2011 Golden Gods. Now with Less Fail.



Alright, it's time to rip into another publications award thing. Well try to anyway. It seems this year Metal Hammer, unlike it's U.S. counterpart Revolver is trying for more legitimacy this year. While Metal Hammer does it's own voting for the bigger categories, fans have an opportunity to vote for the rest of them. And you can do that here.Let's look at the nominees shall we?

Best International Band:

* AVENGED SEVENFOLD
* DIMMU BORGIR
* STONE SOUR
* CHILDREN OF BODOM
* DOWN

This category always cracks me up. It's still unnecessary in a area of global impact. Especially coming from a country that has lagged behind in terms of quality bands over the last decade. Metal is global now, why have an international category? Regardless I'm going with Dimmu Borgir on this and the haters can suck it. At least I'm not picking Avenged like someone else we know.I mean come on. Stone Sour? Really?

Best U.K. Band:

* IRON MAIDEN
* BRING ME THE HORIZON
* SKINDRED
* ARCHITECTS
* BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE

Right on cue. Look at that list. Though I think Architects are getting rave reviews across the blogosphere. Vote Iron Maiden until those guys retire. The rest of these bands will be lucky to still exist 10 years from now.

Best Live Band:

* CANCER BATS
* DEVILDRIVER
* ROB ZOMBIE
* SKINDRED
* MACHINE HEAD

The only band of this list I've seen live is Rob Zombie. I missed Machineheads set opening for Megadeth and Heaven and Hell but honestly I doubt it was a good show. And Devildriver I've seen live in videos and it's just one big bro pit. I'm going with Zombie.

Best New Band:

* THE DEFILED
* KVELERTAK
* TESSERACT
* THE DAMNED THINGS
* LETLIVE

Hmmm. I'm clueless other then a few songs I've heard from Tesseract. Some good variety there.

Best Underground:

* WATAIN
* KYLESA
* PRIMORDIAL
* THE DEAD LAY WAITING
* CLUTCH

Another stupid category they've kept in. Metal is underground compared to other genres. Clutch is the only band I've heard in this list and I like some of their stuff. I'll go with them.

Best Breakthrough:

* PARKWAY DRIVE
* A DAY TO REMEMBER
* SYLOSIS
* SABATON
* VOLBEAT

Though I like Sabaton they're not exactly groundbreaking though they have reached a new level of consciousness on peoples metal radar. I'm going with Volbeat because no one else is mixing rockabilly and metal like these guys do.

Shredder(s):

* Gus G. (FIREWIND, OZZY OSBOURNE)
* Mark Tremonti (ALTER BRIDGE)
* Alexi Laiho (CHILDREN OF BODOM)
* Marc Rizzo (CAVALERA CONSPIRACY, SOULFLY)
* Synyster Gates (AVENGED SEVENFOLD)

What a boring list. I could give a fuck about any of these guys to be honest. Tremonti a shredder? Maybe in his spare time. I'm going with Rizzo. Gus G. in Firewind doesn't do anything different then any of the other power metal shredders and with Ozzy....yeah that's not a showcase for any talent.

Metal As Fuck:

* SLAYER
* BEHEMOTH
* SLIPKNOT
* Zakk Wylde
* DEFTONES

This is based off of terrible things that have happened to these bands and their ability to overcome it.Slipknot should not be on this list because they still can't decide if they're even coming back after Paul Gray's death. Jordison says yes, Corey Taylor says no. They haven't overcome shit yet. Unlike Deftones who continued after Chi was still in a coma. Zakk had blood clots and though potentially life threatening it doesn't compare to fucking leukemia and beating that shit. So Behemoth gets my vote. Sorry Slayer but flesh eating viruses and old age just aren't enough to be metal as fuck.

Event Of The Year:

* Rob Zombie's return
* MANOWAR's return
* SYSTEM OF A DOWN reforming
* The "Big Four" U.K. announcement
* "Beavis And Butthead"'s resurrection

Putting Manowars return next to the Big 4 announcement is as ridiculous as Manowar is. Only people that bothered to watch Beavis and Butthead will care now and even then they might have outgrown it. Yeah the Big 4 is a run away on this.

So there you go. Quality nominations actually make for boring comments from me. that sucks. So go cast your vote and we'll have to wait and see who Metal Hammer picked for album of the year and the Golden God award.

2 comments:

groverXIII said...

Dude... Skindred are a great band. I mean, they won't beat Maiden... but they're head and shoulders above the other bands nominated.

Rob Liz said...

I'll take your word for it. I've heard a tune or two and I was feeling it.