Wednesday, February 17, 2010

2nd Annual Revolver Golden Gods Awards has potential for fail with a dash of success

Last year Revolver did it's first ever Golden Gods Award show and it appears that they decided to mature it up a bit based on most of the category names. True, hottest chick in metal is still there and wasting space but the retarded category names like Most Awesome Drummer have at least been reduced to Best Drummer.
But for the life of me I can't figure out where in the hell they get the nominees for each category from.
Come on people we're used to the Grammys being a bunch of clueless douchebags but this is where we as knowledgeable metalheads get it right. Right?
Apparently not.
Here are the nominees for this year with my comments sprinkled in.

Best Guitarist:

* Kirk Hammett (METALLICA)
* Tony Iommi (HEAVEN & HELL)
* Tom Morello (RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, STREET SWEEPER SOCIAL CLUB)
* Dave Mustaine (MEGADETH)
* Slash (VELVET REVOLVER, GUNS N' ROSES)
* Zakk Wylde (BLACK LABEL SOCIETY)

Obviously this has nothing to do with the past year as most of these guys haven't released anything for at least two years. I've got respect for some of the nominees but honestly none of them are my favorites.

Best Drummer:

* Chris Adler (LAMB OF GOD)
* Brann Dailor (MASTODON)
* Dave Grohl (THEM CROOKED VULTURES)
* Gene Hoglan (DETHKLOK, FEAR FACTORY)
* Dave Lombardo (SLAYER)
* Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan (AVENGED SEVENFOLD)

Some pretty good talent listed here. But come on, would the Rev honestly be listed here if he hadn't died? I'm so tired of the pity votes.

Best Vocalist:

* Jonathan Davis (KORN)
* Ronnie James Dio (HEAVEN & HELL)
* Neil Fallon (CLUTCH)
* Lzzy Hale (HALESTORM)
* Serj Tankian (SYSTEM OF A DOWN)
* Corey Taylor (SLIPKNOT, STONE SOUR)

With all of the vocalist in the world this is what comes up for nominees? Dio is a given and unlike the Rev would have probably been nominated regardless of the cancer story. But Clutch? What the hell have they done since 1995? Halestorm? They just got a record deal. Korn's been on hiatus and Serj isn't really metal without SOAD.How about Chuck Billy,Mikael Akerfeldt,Blitz Ellsworth? Be consistent please.

Album Of The Year:

* ALICE IN CHAINS - Black Gives Way to Blue
* HEAVEN & HELL - The Devil You Know
* MASTODON - Crack the Skye
* MEGADETH - Endgame
* SLAYER - World Painted Blood
* THEM CROOKED VULTURES - Them Crooked Vultures

Some strong nominees here.Hopefully Alice in Chains won't get screwed here.Heaven & Hell's album kind of bored me sadly.Slayer's album was an improvement over past releases and is a toss up with Endgame.I can't get into Mastodon and believe me I've tried and I haven't listened to Them Crooked Vultures yet though I should.

Best Live Band:

* THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
* LAMB OF GOD
* METALLICA
* MOTÖRHEAD
* ROB ZOMBIE
* SLAYER

I saw Metallica in their heyday and they were pretty awesome. I understand their show is still pretty good though I don't want to hear Hetfield's vocals on the old stuff now.I've seen Rob Zombie and his show is pretty good too though he forgets the words to his own silly songs.I've seen concert vids of LoG and they look like a cookie cutter live hardcore band.Same goes for Prada.I'd have an opinion on Slayer if I could have seem them on time this year.And I've never seen Motorhead.
Best Underground Band:

* BEHEMOTH
* BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME
* THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER
* CONVERGE
* THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN
* OBITUARY

Again like I said last year. Metal for the most part is underground so this is kind of redundant from the redundancy department. I'm not a fan of any of these bands but if I had to pick it'd be Behemoth.

Most Metal Athlete:

* Josh Barnett (MMA fighting)
* Marc Colombo, Cory Procter, and Leonard Davis (NFL football)
* Chris Jericho (WWE wrestling)
* Mike Piazza (MLB baseball)
* Jason Ellis (Pro skateboarding)
* Jolene Van Vugt (Pro motocrosser)

What is the criteria for this? Seriously.I'm a Cowboys fan and since Colombo and the boys actually do have a metal band I'll go with them.Oh wait I forgot about Fozzy. Which was a joke band incorporated into a WWE storyline years ago when Jericho had long hair and now they're trying to be legit. (Yes I'm a recovering douchebag that watched wrestling on and off again for years)

Hottest Chick(s) In Metal:

* Pearl Aday (PEARL)
* Maria Brink (IN THIS MOMENT)
* Lzzy Hale (HALESTORM)
* Lacey Mosley (FLYLEAF)
* Alexia & Anissa Rodriguez (EYES SET TO KILL)
* Cristina Scabbia (LACUNA COIL)

Not bad on the categories so far until now. They kept this on here. For Christ sakes, these girls shouldn't really be proud of this. How is the acceptance speech going to go? "Uh thanks guys for thinking I'm hot, but I'm in a band and so ...what do you think of our music...hey...eyes up here please". And Flyleaf isn't even metal.Lacuna Coil barely is. Utter fail here.

Comeback Of The Year:

* AC/DC
* ALICE IN CHAINS
* ANVIL
* FEAR FACTORY
* HEAVEN & HELL
* KISS

AC/DC gets points for being gone for 8 years then making millions of dollars from really strong cd sales and concert tour. Anvil's documentary made the world go..."Oh yeah ..I remember those guys" and the new cd's sales still stink.Fear Factory would be a dark horse here. Heaven & Hell? That should have been last year. If there is a God don't let it be Kiss. Alice in Chains should get this hands down.

6 comments:

Guillermo said...

ha ha ha its gonna be KISS

Rob Liz said...

Knowing how these things operate you're probably right:/

Randy said...

My picks:

Best Guitarist:
Should be Dave Mustaine (Endgame actually did come out last year), so he should win on that alone, although I'd hate to see the ego trip afterwards...

Best Drummer:
Gene Hoglan or Dave Lombardo hands down (Fear Factory and new slayer discs), however, Rev is the Heath Ledger of music awards, so he'll probably get it.

Best Vocalist:
DIO. Simply because at his age, he is singing everyone else under the table. He hasn't aged much at all voicewise. Even if you didn't like the latest Heaven & Hell, the voice is there.

Album Of the Year:
I would like to see Alice in Chains get it for its solid comeback, but I think it will definitely be Mastodon "Crack the Skye." (I too have trouble getting into them, but I do think "Leviathan" is definitely its best work.)

Plus they did bring metal back to the mainstream a bit, without selling out, which is cool. They are kind of prog now though.

Best live band: I'd give it to Zombie, just because despite his inability to sing, the shows are fun! I wouldn't be disappointed if Metallica won either.

Best Underground Band (Should be more like mainstream underground band):
I would do a write-in vote for thrashers Revocation. But, since that's not an option, I'll go with Obituary, because they are the only real underground band, even if its best days are behind it.

Most Metal Athlete:
Marc Colombo, Cory Procter, and Leonard Davis (NFL football) or Mike Piazza (big fan of metal and friends with Zakk Wylde) hands down. Anything else would be a sham.

Hottest Chick in metal:
I agree with you fully her. This category should be banished. However, Christina Scabbia is classy and attractive for her age.

I would guess she wouldn't want this award. Maria Brink might get it too.

Alexia is a nice girl and she likes Revolver, (interviewed her for my college newspaper), but I can't say I enjoy her band too much. (and she is a bit young, looks like jailbait).

Comeback of the year should be Anvil or Alice In Chains if they don't win best album.

However, I'm not sure that Anvil is really coming back from much of anything. In fact it might be more popular now than ever...

That's my 2 cents, not that you probably needed all that, ha ha.

Randy said...

Oh actually Fear Factory probably made the most awesome comeback. If you were ever a fan, Mechanize is killer. One of its stronger albums.

Rob Liz said...

Thanks for the input Randy. It's always cool to get a fresh perspective on things.

Draeden Wren said...

I'm gonna post something I said to Mr. ThatDevilMusic in person.. I think that Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan is going to win best drummer (a la the Heath Ledger rule) but I honestly think he was nominated for the simple fact that in metal today, he's one of the best out there.. I don't know of anyone better.. Just my two cents.